I, for one, did not watch the Super Bowl this year. I heard about it the next day but nobody was talking about the score. Instead, everyone was talking about the disastrous half-time show sponsored by MTV, or Moron Television, as I like to call it. Just because Janet Jackson's tit flopped out people began going crazy. All the media was abuzz about a certain mammary gland.

    I thought the half-time show was inappropriate. I'm glad Jackson and Justin Timberlake apologized for the event. Although I was satisfied with the apology I would have been much more appeased if they strung Timberlake up by his intestines. I hate that mother fucker and any guy who lowers himself to making girly pop music. Please, grow some balls and pick up a guitar you lame bastards. Sadly, they didn't string him up so I will have to be satisfied with things as they are. That being said I hope MTV never produces another half-time show again. Most people who watch football don't tune in to watch MTV style glam-shit. Goodbye, MTV, you won't be missed.

    Not long after this, Clear Channel Radio pulled the Howard Stern program from six markets here in the USA. Supposedly, Howard had crossed the line or something, and the FCC wanted to crack down on him. Now, unless Stern slaughtered a retarded midget on the air I can't imagine what he did that was so horrible. In January it seemed that the media was all of a sudden freaking out over indecency. Everyone is so scared about what their precious little children's ears might hear. Oh, come the fuck on!

    My complaint with the media lies with an event that happened a few years ago. You no doubt remember the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. Sadly, I can't get it out of my head either and maybe that's because the media had to TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME!

    When I sit back and think about all this it makes me sick. Back before the news was filled with stories of terrorism there was a time when the media was focused on Bill Clinton's dick. Amazing, isn't it? One year we are talking about the president getting a blow job, and now all we talk about are Islamic bastards that want to kill us. Now a days I get so sick of hearing about the Middle East. Palestine this, Israel that…blah blah. If I hear the word "Hamas" one more time I think I will scream.

    First of all, Clinton's affair should not have been covered at all. And if it was, it should have been covered differently. Since oral sex is an affair, saying Clinton had an affair would have worked just fine. No details needed. But noooooo! The media felt compelled to give us these details. It wasn't enough to say Clinton cheated and lied about it but now we have to find out exactly how he cheated. I dreaded the evening news during this time. Nothing says fun like eating dinner with mom and dad and hearing about blow jobs!

    Me: Mom, could you pass the….

    TV Anchor: ORAL SEX!

    Me: salt?

    Mom: Sure. How was your…

    TV Anchor: ORAL SEX!

    Mom: day?

    Me: It was fine. Dad, how was your day?

    Dad: It was fine. I had some…

    TV Anchor: ORAL SEX!

    Dad: disruptive students on my bus route, but other than that it was fine.

    Thank you, Dan Rather et al. for taking the innocence out of family dinner time. But the fun doesn't stop with oral sex. We also had to hear about Lewinsky's stained dress, her thong, and the cigar incident.

    Because of this media frenzy people were talking about this everywhere. Adults were talking about it at work and no doubt kids were talking about it in school. Isn't it cool when kids are up on current events?! Just imagine a class full of first graders talking about blow jobs. It's so good to see that they are informed.

    Did anyone bitch about this? The entertainment industry gets blamed all the time for corrupting our youth. But did anyone find fault with the news? Or how about Ken Star and the other people who wanted to remove Clinton from office? This has to be one of the most embarrassing times in American history. It's disgraceful because this is all the news had to talk about, and that Clinton's opponents hated him so bad they would try to use his private life to remove him from public office. Sometimes the public is better off not knowing everything and this was one of those times.

    How will this be remembered in the history books? Sadly, Clinton's affair will be one of the biggest events in his career. Will the textbooks say he engaged in oral sex? Or will the writers actually be decent people and just say he had an affair that almost cost him his job?

    I find it funny that the FCC, parents and whoever else deserves blame would let this kind of thing happen and not complain. I'm surprised the nightly news didn't begin with a parental advisory warning. But if it did, I wouldn't be sitting here citing the media's hypocrisy. So, Clear Channel, it's OK if oral sex is a news story but it's not OK when someone jokes about it on the radio? I see you have made your decision and I have now made mine. Thank God I have a CD player to take your place.